“I know I’m supposed to be a neutral news anchor, but g–d— it, that feels good!” CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, played by Beck Bennett, said in the show’s cold open after announcing the network’s projection of a Biden win over President Trump.
The “SNL” version of CNN then switched to Biden’s victory speech in Delaware, where comedian Jim Carrey, the show’s most recent Biden impersonator, came out to cheers.
“Can you believe it?” he asked the audience. “I honestly kind of can’t. It’s been so long since something good happened.”
Carrey’s Biden added that he’s never felt so alive, “which is ironic cause I’m not that alive.”
Biden’s Vice President-elect, Sen. Kamala Harris (played by Maya Rudolph) then reminded the crowd she will be the first Black, Indian-American woman to hold the office, “and if any of that terrifies you, I don’t give a funt.”
She added that between her and Jewish “second gentleman” Doug Emhoff, “we check more boxes than a disqualified ballot” – in terms of diversity.
Carrey reminded, “Tonight, we’re not going to stand here and gloat.”
“Well, maybe … ,” Rudolph answered before the two of them went into a victory dance.
Back at the CNN set, Bennett’s Blitzer noted that “People don’t just want to see Biden and Kamala happy, they also want to see Trump sad.”
The network then switched to a Trump concession speech where the president, played by Alec Baldwin, insisted he had been reelected — and called for states to both “stop the count” and “count all the votes.”
Baldwin’s Trump vowed to his supporters he would fight to the “bitter end” and then sat down to play a grand piano, where he musically reminded Americans who he was: a “macho, macho man.”
“This isn’t goodbye America, I’m just going say, ‘See you in court,'” he waved.
Finally, CNN went back to Biden’s victory party where he remarked that, “Unfortunately, there are situations in life … where there must be a winner and a loser,” he said, emphasizing the word “loser” in an impression of his 1990s movie character Ace Ventura that the roaring New York City audience seemed to recognize.